So I am shocked to see how long it has been since I posted. And what a ride it has been. Beginnings and endings. Life…struggling with life, day to day…the constant flux of losing and finding myself. And oh that extra 20 pounds along the way after my mother died. But I never used over any of it. No matter what. Use food you say? Why yes, yes I did that. Still do? Okay fine. But the statin is working well on keeping my cholesterol down. So that is a plus. Triglycerides? Oh my. Yes there is that. But that H.E.B. coconut chocolate chunk almond ice cream is divine. And so comforting. Now I can’t even say I have an excuse due to lack of gym membership. Had one about a month and have been 3 times. Or is it 2? Either way it is not enough. I saw how being fat and sedentary shortened my mother’s life….where oh where is the drive to not die that way? To be healthy for me, for my kids, for a better quality of life. If I’m not mistaken it is the whole do it for me thing that has to get there. Just like it did with the drugs. The desire to change must be greater than the desire to stay the same. And once again it will mean having to be more accountable to myself, to stepping it up a level and moving into another metamorphosis of self…shedding this old skin to grown into another. And what else does that entail? Shedding more than weight I believe.
On the cusp. I believe I am on the cusp of spreading my wings and flying my butterfly ass into the wind….but dang that is one helluva cusp.
reclaimingherlife 